Fried Day

I have no idea what hit me yesterday. I've been battling a cold of some sort for a week, so that might have been it. Week two of the fall quarter ended on Thursday and I was exhausted from the new schedule. It always takes a few weeks for things to settle.

I woke up with every intention of getting through my work. I even started and got some grades posted. Then I went to have my shake - it was early afternoon by then. I decided to take a little time off to rest and hang with Mae. Next thing I know I'm falling asleep on the couch. Dragged myself to my bed and passed out.

Never saw it coming.

The sleep was awesome and peaceful. Really peaceful for the first time in weeks and weeks. I woke up feeling better and decided that I wouldn't even attempt to work anymore for the day. So, I didn't .

When I went to bed again I slept. Deeply. Weird for me. Or maybe this is what normal experience? I have no idea.

It's not as if the stress is gone. It's not. Work is intense as always and I have far too much on my plate as usual. I hear my brain clicking away at the "to do" list all the time. The difference is that I don't react the same way. I know if I sit at the PC and just take one task at a time it will get done easily. I just move from one task to the next and feel no anxiety from it. No clue how those shakes are doing this....but they are making a positive difference.

I tried eating sweets yesterday. I wanted ice cream. Seriously wanted it. I had less than half of what I would normally have had and was satisfied. I even tried a cookie or two. They were too sweet really and not as good as my memory made them seem. I should have had the veggies instead. Weird. The chemical balance is shifting now. It's not just the food, it's the reaction to the food and how I want to consume the food.

And this too: People from the past are finding me again. That Mobius strip thing is happening. I'm not sure what it means really. I look at their questions, their comments and wonder, "Do they realize I'm not that person?" I wonder at how they have me frozen in time and seem shocked when I tell them politely, "No. I'm not part of that anymore. I don't do that anymore." Time is strange. Memories freeze images and while our brains record the passage of time and our eyes confirm the differences...no one seems to want to let it go.


How do you let it go?